Wednesday, February 21, 2007

You Can't Handle The Truth!

The Sales Version of this movie dialog... author - unknown

Sales: "You want answers?"

Finance: "I think we are entitled to them!"

Sales: "You want answers?!"

Finance: "I want the truth!"

Sales: "You can't handle the truth!!!"Sales (continuing): "Son, we live in a world that requires revenue. And that revenue must be brought in by people with elite skills. Who's going to find it? You? You, Mr. Operations? We have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom.You scoff at sales division and you curse our lucrative incentives. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what we know: that while the cost of business results are excessive, it drives in revenue. And my very existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, drives REVENUE! You don't want to know the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at staff meetings ... you want me on that call. You NEED me on that call!We use words like comps, migration, discounts, flex licensing, global purchase agreements. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent negotiating something. You use them as a punch line!I have neither the time nor inclination to explain myself to people who rise and sleep under the very blanket of revenue I provide and then question the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise I suggest you pick up a phone and make some sales calls. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!"

Finance: "Did you expense the lap dances?"

Sales: "I did the job I was hired to do."

Finance: "Did you expense the lap dances?"

Sales: "You're goddamn right I did!"

The Eleven Rules according to Bill Gates

My boss sent this to me. If we only knew then what we know now..

The Eleven Rules of Life that Bill Gates recently gave to a 4th year class at Mt. Whitney High School in Visalia, California. It needs no introduction:

Rule #1 - Life is not fair - get used to it.

Rule #2 - The world doesn't care about your self esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule #3 - You will not make $40,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a Vice-President with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule #4 - If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule #5 - Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping - they called it "Opportunity".

Rule #6 - If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes - learn from them.

Rule #7 - Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So, before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule #8 - Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule #9 - Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

Rule #10 - Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule #11 - Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

I have officially entered the on line age - MY OWN BLOG!

Part of my commitment to upgrade my professional skills is to get on line - My own BLOG! Baby steps! Next - my own web site! (planning for summer 2007)

I wanted a place to publish my library of sales, management, leadership, and other business related topics. Posting personal information is not my style. I would rather share funny, informative and inspirational information.

Ciao for now!